the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
