you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We are all done wearing pants today
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
