Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
