I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
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