if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Randomize
