This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
