I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
