Whod you bang
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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