Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
