Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
