is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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