so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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