I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
