you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize