Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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