I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
