I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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