when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
