I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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