I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We don't watch enough power rangers
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
