At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize