Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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