I just made out with a guy for $7.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
