He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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