You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
