like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
