dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
