Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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