I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
