apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize