Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
