Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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