Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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