Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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