That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
