I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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