Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
