Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
