Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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