Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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