He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
