Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I AM VODKA MAN
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize