His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
