Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Randomize
