...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
