Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Sober January is a disaster.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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