these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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