i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
