ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
