I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
