Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
