Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize