please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
