How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
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