I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
