Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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