Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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