one might say we're banned from that church
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
