as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
