But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize