??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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